More China Hijinks!

It has been brought to my attention that on this blog I often complain about Shanghai.  What?!  Me?  Complain?  Certainly that is not the case!  There is nothing to complain about over here.  The weather, for once, is reasonable.  Sunny, even!  Although I have been told the air quality is horrendous and we should not be outside breathing the toxic air.  I ignore these warnings!  I step outside and breathe with reckless abandon.  The construction noise from across the street has started to sound as soothing as birdsong.  Who can complain about the rhythmic hum of a jackhammer?  I am surrounded by an army of helpful folks who have absolutely no understanding of what I want or why I am even talking to them in the first place, but I am not complaining!

The management office is currently staffed with many of these helpful people.  They are very eager to answer the phone and then proceed to explain to me why something that should take five minutes is about to ruin my entire day.  Take for example, my current light bulb situation.  I have no problem changing light bulbs.  This is something I do all the time.  Never before have I paid someone to change light bulbs for me.  But China is different, and after spending far too much time searching for the light bulbs I needed and then being unable to change them without electrocuting myself, I had the management office send someone over.  I paid him 5rmb per bulb!  After I supplied the bulbs, naturally.  He was also kind enough to show me that in many cases the problem wasn’t my ineptitude, but our house’s faulty wiring.  He repeatedly pulled singed wads of wires out of the ceiling to demonstrate just how “bad” certain parts of the house happened to be.  He fixed these, and contorted himself and his ladder into various spaces until he had managed to replace seventeen bulbs.  Seventeen!  But the lights were working again so I am not complaining!

The bulbs in the living room require a special ladder.  When they put the drapes up, they actually built scaffolding inside the house to reach the top of the windows.  When the management office mentioned an extra charge for the “tall ladder” I was pretty sure that was what they were talking about.  I am willing to pay a fee for this, of course.  No complaining here!  But I need to provide the light bulbs and I have no idea which ones to buy.  They are up in the ceiling, you see, and they require a special ladder!  Can anyone from the management office tell me which bulbs to buy?  No.  Can they sell the bulbs to me?  No.  After multiple phone calls they find a solution.  What they can do is have the guy come, take down the bulb, hand it to me, and wait while I go and frantically try to find the bulb.  At some mystery store, apparently, because nothing thus far in my hours of searching resembles these crazy bulbs I see in my living room ceiling.  Then, when I return from my shopping excursion, he can climb the ladder again and put the new bulb in.  Very simple.

Well, I hate to complain, but this is not so simple.  This is ridiculous.  This made me yell at a nice little Chinese woman who was baffled that I could not understand why no one had saved the packaging from these light bulbs.  I cannot possibly be the first person ever to need these bulbs to be changed, can I?  Every townhouse in the compound has these light bulbs!  So now I am waiting.  I have arranged for the special ladder to come today and will pay for one of the workmen to go and buy the light bulb for me.  I will also pay the ladder fee and maybe overtime while we all wait for him to return with the coveted bulb.  I will then wrestle him to the ground to ensure I have the packaging that might help me when another one of these bulbs decides to stop working.  I can almost guarantee that another one will need replacing tomorrow.  Not that I am complaining or anything.

The Shower Debacle (or Why I Have Been Spending More Time at the Gym)

A few weeks ago, the shower door came off its hinges.  Lucas was the unlucky one taking a shower, and just as he pulled the door handle to get out, the top hinge snapped and the entire door fell forward.  In this house we have only one shower so this was bad news for anyone else who was interested in personal hygiene.  Well, not entirely.  We do have two bathtubs here, but for those of us who prefer a shower, we would have to wait until the guys from maintenance could come over to fix it.

Our Chinese bathrooms, like much of Shanghai, are decorated in what can only be described as excessive sparkle.  They might not be showcases for usable space, but they glitter like nobody’s business.  These bathrooms are an appropriate place for jazz hands if ever there was one.  The shower is one of the many things in the bathroom that, at first glance, looks fantastic.  It is a rectangular glass box with all sorts of jets and nozzles–a certifiable fancy shower.  Once you step in, however, you immediately notice a few shortcomings.  The space inside is surprisingly small and the door has these strange plastic pieces all around it that are intended to keep the water inside the shower.  These pieces fly off frequently, and rarely if ever become a barrier of any kind.  This means that showers, particularly ones taken by the under twelve set, result in large lakes being formed on the bathroom floor.  Using the fancy jets only exacerbates this problem, so we have had to use the shower’s most exciting features sparingly.

The door isn’t the first thing to go wrong with our super shower.  At one point Mark made the startling discovery that the shower only provided cold water no matter how far you turned the temperature nozzle.  The kids had taken showers the night before and the rest of the house had plenty of hot water so the problem appeared to be only in the shower.  Off to the gym went Mark while I was left to deal with the workmen and the shower situation.  After a lengthy discussion involving elaborate hand signals, the problem was fixed.  Hooray!  Hot showers for everyone!  There was one glitch, however.  The workman informed me that someone adjusting the water temperature had caused the problem.  What?  No one had done anything to the water heater or any of the complicated controls on the wall in the kitchen.  I was sure of this because none of us could read what any of the buttons said.  We were afraid to touch them.  Oh no, he explained, someone had adjusted the temperature of the water inside the shower.  That was a no no.  No more changing the temperature to suit personal preferences.  He had set the temperature and we were not to bother the handle in the shower.  I had pressed him a little on this.  What if it was too hot for the children?  That was crazy!  No, he insisted, it was not.  If we wanted to shower we would need to use the water the way it was.  No more fooling around!  Needless to say, we all ignored this and haven’t had problems with the water temperature since.

The door was another matter.  It was heavy and I was afraid to try to move it or reattach it by myself.  The glass hadn’t broken, but there was always the possibility that the bottom hinge would snap and the whole thing would come crashing down.  Mark moved it a bit when he came home from work, but other than that we left it and I called the management office in the morning.

While many things are frequently left undone by our management company, a shower door hanging by only one hinge apparently sounds some sort of alarm.  A workman was sent over right away to get the door reattached.  I showed him the problem and he immediately decided that it was a job requiring more than one person.  The door was bulky, and it took one person to hold the door and one person to fix the hinge.  He got on the phone and management sent one more guy over.  Together they started the work and I went back downstairs.

A few minutes later there was a loud thump.  No crashing, no cursing, and no screaming– just a very loud thump.  I thought about going upstairs to check, but wedging myself in the small bathroom as two guys tried to fix the shower had been unpleasant the first time I tried it.  And once I joined them in the bathroom, I would need to try to explain myself in Mandarin.  I decided that if there was a problem I would certainly find out.  No need to rush bad news by going upstairs and poking around, right?  Not five minutes later one of the workmen scurried down the stairs.  He had wrapped his right forearm completely in toilet paper and was holding the mummified appendage above his head.  He didn’t make eye contact with me.  He just walked out the front door, got on his bicycle, and rode off.  He was steering with his good arm.

Now I was forced to go upstairs and investigate.  Sure enough, the shower door was broken and the other workman was three inches deep in glass shards.  His arms were cut, but apparently he thought his wounds weren’t serious enough to warrant leaving the job site.  He asked for a broom and some bags and started shoveling the glass bits off the floor.  I got the vacuum in an attempt to contain what had exploded out onto the bedroom carpet.  The management office called.  The developer was on his way over.  Ten minutes later five new guys appeared at the door and rushed up to the bathroom.  They didn’t even bother to remove their shoes, which I took to mean this was serious business.  Of course, it could just mean they were jerks that didn’t care about tracking dirt in my house.  Either way, they brought glass downstairs with them when they left, spreading it all over the stairs and into the dining room.

Only the lone workman remained and he stayed all day.  Once I thought the mess was reasonably taken care of I encouraged him to leave.  I tried to explain that I could clean up the rest.  He deemed this absolutely unacceptable and kept right on running his bare hands along every surface.  He winced whenever he found another tiny glass shard, would pull it from his flesh, and immediately go back to sliding his hands on the floor again.  He took everything off the counters and shook the glass loose.  He moistened an entire roll of toilet paper and used it to basically mop the floor.  When he was finally finished he apologized profusely.

We waited two weeks for the replacement door to arrive.  When it did they delivered it at night, and left it lying in the tiny strip of grass between our house and the neighbors’.  Mark only noticed it when he went out to make a phone call.  It wasn’t in a box, just a long sheet of glass propped up on thick wads of paper.  Luckily, no one stepped on it.  The door was finally installed on Sunday morning and we are now back to flooding the upstairs bathroom every night.  Unfortunately, even after all that, my triceps are still a bit flabby.

In Praise of … Cautiousness?

Last week Ava’s teacher sent me an email inviting me to their class assembly.  Ava would be receiving an award so I told her I would be there.  It is a little bittersweet to get an award at the last assembly of the school year before you ride off into the sunset and change schools, but we would take it!  Ava had told me that in class they had voted for their classmates in a variety of different categories for awards to be given out the last week of school.  I didn’t ask too much follow up so I just assumed that was what I was going to be seeing when I went to the assembly.

Dear China,

Please remind me never to assume anything while we are living here.  Thank you in advance.

Sincerely,

Gwen

This assembly had nothing to do with the awards Ava had been discussing.  This assembly was one of the school’s character assemblies.  Yes, character, and not like cartoon.  Throughout the school year, the classes make presentations about specific attributes that are part of their character education program.  I am all for building character, and when I heard about this part of the school curriculum I wasn’t too alarmed.  The school has a religious element, not too strong, but there none the less.  It seemed at first to be just the melding of Western and Asian culture that would help the kids to better understand China and make sense of their experiences here.  It leans heavily toward Christianity, but my kids have had exposure to other religions.  Done well a little character education might be nice, right?

Ava showed me her “character cards” during our parent conference a month or so ago and I asked her some questions about them.  She was vague, maybe because she wasn’t entirely clear on things.  Some of the assemblies and discussions were from the beginning of the year and she had only participated in a few.  These character cards had cartoon animals on them –I am guessing the animal is supposed to represent that character trait somehow—and then a small description.  Some of them were confusing, and there were quite a few of them that I was a bit skeptical about.  There are things like “discernment” and “hospitality”.  The kinds of things that are difficult to define and the explanations didn’t always fit my interpretation.

Last week’s assembly was about “cautiousness” and I was treated to a performance all about following the rules and being obedient.  Some of it was easy to agree with.  I am all for internet safety and leaving the scene when you think you might be in danger, but there were parts that made me uncomfortable.  There was so much of the performance that was about the rules and how following them made everyone safer.  Now, I am not against rules or following the rules.  But I like my rules with a healthy dose of explanation.  I don’t think that kids should blindly accept the rules just because an adult tells them to and I don’t think adults should be offended when kids ask them to explain where a rule comes from or why we all should follow it.  I am not excited to hear people say that we have a rule “just because”.  Sadly, much of this assembly was about how grown ups know more than kids and, for that reason, kids should do what grown ups say.  An administrator got up at the end to thank the children for their work in putting on the performance.  He reiterated how the rules were in place to keep kids safe and that grown ups know more than kids.  Rules help us to have more fun, not less!  All hail, cautiousness!

Next came the awards and I began to get a sinking feeling that Ava was about to get an award celebrating her cautiousness.  Each class gave two awards and one of her teachers stood up to sing the praises of the first lucky student.  He always raises his hand.  He always asks permission.  He always does things at the right time.  He was all smiles as he came up to receive his award.  The Chinese-speaking teacher got up and presented the second award.  I have no idea what was actually said because the combination of Mandarin and the growing dread of Ava being recognized for cautiousness was just too overwhelming.  When her name was called, Ava looked genuinely surprised.  Her face lit up and she rushed forward to get the coveted piece of paper.  She beamed for the rest of the assembly as the other classes handed out their awards.  When she made eye contact with me her smile intensified and she bounced a bit, her excitement unable to compete with her cautiousness, apparently.

When it was finished she ran over to me gushing about the award.  She had never been given an award before and she was elated to have been recognized.  Thrilled.  I shared some of her enthusiasm, but it was tinged with a bit of regret.  I know how hard these last few months have been for her and how difficult it has been to adapt to this new school.  She has trouble sitting still and tends to be the kid who bounces around full of crazy ideas.  Here she has been told that she needs to be quiet and she needs to raise her hand.  She needs to follow directions and she has had to wear a uniform to conform even more.  The first few weeks of this were excruciating.  She was trying so hard and it was so exhausting.  It got better, but now here we are getting rewarded for our cautiousness.  I found myself hoping that they had given her the award only because she hadn’t gotten one before and they didn’t want to leave her out.  I am hoping that they were just being nice, because the alternative is that Ava has squished herself so tiny in the last few months that her teachers actually see her as exemplifying cautiousness.  I don’t want her to be cautious.  I want her to be fearless.

Mark met me on his way to the metro station and I told him about the award and the assembly.  He laughed because he had just spent the last few days interviewing Chinese job applicants and had noticed that they were awfully, um, cautious.  This was starting to look like some sort of Chinese thing, this cautiousness!  He had to snap a few photos of the award to show his colleagues.

Later when I bemoaned the award and my mixed feelings, my friend took up the cause of cautiousness.  “Why couldn’t she have been recognized for “Enthusiasm” or Hospitality?” I had wailed.  “Something I could get behind.”

“You could get behind “Hospitality”? she had asked.

“Yes, maybe.  If it was done right.  I mean, I’m from the South.”

But Ava didn’t get an award for hospitality.  She got one for her cautiousness.  A trait that I am not entirely sure I can get behind.  The more we talked about it, the clearer it became—Mark and I don’t always value cautiousness.  We moved to China, leaving all our family and friends.  We took the kids out of wonderful schools and put our house on the market.  We decided to put our faith in something that has a pretty high failure rate.  That isn’t cautiousness.  That is risk– calculated risk.  We take chances.  We try to think things through, but occasionally we decide that even  though it isn’t 100% safe we are going to jump anyway.  How can we tell our kids to be cautious if it means shying away from a few calculated risks?  I want to raise kids that see the merit in weighing their options and sometimes taking a risk.  I want them to do the unexpected every now and then.  I understand that sometimes it pays to be cautious, but I also know that sometimes it is just the fear talking.  It would have been so much easier to stay home and let things stay the same, but then the kids wouldn’t be learning Mandarin or living in Shanghai.  Those experiences are worth a little risk.

Welcome to Erickson Pharmacy

Ever since I went on the hospital tour, I have been doing everything possible to avoid taking anyone to the doctor.  We have been fairly lucky—no emergencies, yet—and the illnesses around here have been minor.  The kids have had colds, of course, and Lucas had an asthma flare up that made me realize that we didn’t bring enough of his medicine.  That problem was solved with a few phone calls home, grandparent involvement, and a fortuitous trip to the US by one of Mark’s colleagues.

Our relative good health was bound to end, though.  It was only a matter of time before we would have to venture out and try one of the pediatricians here in Shanghai.  Our first incident occurred when Lucas came downstairs after his bath and announced that he had chicken pox.  All of the kids have been vaccinated so this would be highly improbable, but the bumps all over his chest did look suspiciously like the pox.  They were spreading, and a quick glance at Google images had me convinced that he might be right.  There had been a recent note from one of the schools about students coming down with chicken pox, so when Henry and Ava also had the red bumps, I panicked and called our pediatrician in Baltimore.  With the time difference, I was lucky enough to be able to reach him during his morning call time and catch him before he left for the office.  How great is that, by the way, that you can call him in the morning to chat before he goes to work?

Dr. Bodnar was extremely patient with me as he explained that there was no way we could have chicken pox.  Highly improbable.  When I pressed for a diagnosis he told me that he couldn’t say without seeing them and, obviously, that wasn’t going to happen.  We would need to see someone here.  Erg.  So off we went in the morning to a new pediatrician.

The office visit was uneventful, really.  The pediatrician was fine and the kids liked her though I missed home and the ease of our old routine.  They were able to fit all three kids in at the same time, for better or worse, and they ruled out chicken pox pretty quickly.  It turned out the kids had hot tub folliculitus.  In other words, we had caught something from bacteria in the clubhouse hot tub.  Gross!  Even worse, we had invited a friend to the pool and she had the same rash.  Who wants a play date with the Ericksons?  Our pool has bacteria!  Come on over!

They gave us some antibiotic cream which we never used since it all cleared up in a matter of days.  Even more exciting, the doctor told me that they keep Lucas’ asthma medicine in stock.  Hooray!  Would we like some?  Of course we would!  Here is where China is vastly different from home.  The pharmacy is located in the doctor’s office.  This is lucky because it is usually in the main part of the hospital and this would have been very hard to navigate without reasonable spoken Mandarin.  The doctor wrote the prescriptions and then they were filled one desk over.  You wait for them to check you out and to pay any fees and then you get your medicine.  Because few things are available over the counter, people will stock up whenever they go to the doctor on things like pain relievers and cold medicine.

Since we were stocking up, I had several boxes to pick up at the pharmacy counter.  Once I got there the pharmacist had a lengthy discussion with me about how to mix the medicine before Lucas used it.  What?  Mix it?  I didn’t understand.  He explained that none of it was mixed so I would need to measure the saline and then the medicine and then put it in the nebulizer.  Ok… I am not at all comfortable with that, but if this is the way things work then I can roll with it.  Apparently, I am the pharmacist’s assistant!  He has an awful lot of faith in me if he is just going to let me mix things at home, but apparently his job is only to hand me the boxes.  The doctor had made it seem so straightforward.  She hadn’t mentioned that I needed to do more than just open the package.

The same thing happened when Henry had to go back to the doctor the next week for a possible ear infection.  An ear infection that I didn’t believe he had because sometimes I am an awesome mother.  Honestly, he had no fever and he was skipping around and jumping in the air and only occasionally complaining that his ear sort of hurt.  So off we went again and once again I stood befuddled at the pharmacy counter.  I had heard that in China they preferred IV antibiotics and that had made me wary of taking the kids in for things like an ear infection.  The pediatrician thought this was funny.  Of course they had oral antibiotics!  We would start with our old friend amoxicillin!  She only had capsules, but that would work out fine!

Cut to the pharmacy again where I stood rereading the directions on the box of antibiotic capsules.  Lucky I had read them at all since I thought I was just going to be giving Henry a capsule or two every so often.  The directions told me to mix the contents of two capsules with 20 ml of water and to give Henry 14 ml twice a day.  What?  20 ml to mix but 14 ml per dose?  Why didn’t the pharmacist just mix the damn stuff for me?  The pediatrician had said we could mix it with juice or something to get him to take the capsules, but the box said I needed to mix it before I even tried to make it edible.  I asked the pharmacist and he blinked at me several times before answering.  Since Henry didn’t weigh enough to just take two full capsules, I needed to open the capsules and mix their contents with liquid and then take out the correct dosage for his weight.  His job really was just to hand me the boxes!  He even handed me a bottle with the label “simple syrup” on it and instructed me that I could use this to make the medicine taste better.  Sure thing, don’t worry about me!  No, no, you just sit there and finish your tea!  I can do all this “pharmacy” stuff when I get home!

So for the past few days I have been attempting to mix a stiff cocktail of antibiotic goodness for Mr. Doodle.  I have begun mixing it with chocolate syrup but I have no idea if the doses I am giving him are right.  I assume they are close enough because he has stopped complaining about his ear.  Just wait until I get a chance to work my magic on Lucas!  Who knew I was such a good pharmacist?

Carrefour! (It Isn’t As Exciting As You Think!)

I keep planning on posting about my multiple grocery stores, but each actual trip to the grocery store leaves me too exhausted to write anything.  Today I even made a feeble attempt at a few illustrative photos before I was rendered unable to push the shutter button by the flying Chinese elbows in the vegetable section of Carrefour.  Before I get ahead of myself, I should let you know that there are varying levels of shopping here in Shanghai.  I am an uninformed American expat, and I am newly arrived in the city, so I get taken at pretty much every turn when it comes to buying food for my family.  I have mentioned before that I have a bunch of different stores that I frequent to find the things we are used to buying.  I had imagined myself taking to the local culture and heading to the markets to find fresh, locally grown produce to feed my family, but that bubble has been burst.  I have yet to make it to the wet market, apparently called “wet” because they get hosed down at night, and I have been frightened to the point of paralyzation about going to the wrong one.  I have also heard them called “hepatitis markets” which is very helpful if you like to avoid food poisoning at all costs and think that more serious afflictions would be best avoided as well.  One of my new friends went to the wet market with another Chinese friend as her guide and came away thinking that the experience was perhaps not worth repeating.  Apparently, there was plenty of yelling in Mandarin which resulted in great vegetables but subpar fruit and left her pining for the local supermarket.  This is saying quite a bit, actually, because a trip to the local supermarket here leaves me wishing I could take a nap on the couch with a bottle of wine.  There are some more upscale places, of course, but they have the prices to prove it, so I always end up at the supermarket with the low prices and the most aggravation.  Today that was Carrefour, the French market that originally tricked me into thinking that Shanghai shopping would be all unicorns and rainbows once we moved here.

When we were looking at housing in September, one of the agents thought I might like to have a look at the Carrefour in Jinqiao.  We were considering an apartment right across the street so this would be one of my most easily accessible places for food and everything else.  I should preface this by saying that the agent was Chinese.  Very Chinese.  We ate lunch together, and when I wanted to get a cold drink afterward, she kept insisting that I wouldn’t be so thirsty if I had just finished my soup.  Because the Chinese don’t really drink cold drinks she couldn’t fathom why I would want one or why the soup wasn’t just as thirst quenching as an iced tea.  Like that Abbott and Costello routine, she kept insisting that I should have finished my soup and I kept reiterating that I needed a drink.  Over and over and over again.  She was, perhaps, not the best person to introduce me to Carrefour.

Carrefour is French.  And I went into the store ready for a French grocery store experience.  I am used to how shopping happens in Paris, but this was Shanghai.  Imagine my surprise when the first thing we encountered was much more like Walmart than some French grocery store.  They have bicycles, and dishes, and clothing.  They have sheets, and cosmetics, and everything else you could want.  Well, sort of.  It is an enormous place with lots and lots of stuff.  My local store is smaller, but still fairly packed with things.  You need an iron?  Carrefour has that!  You want shoes?  They have that, too!  You want imported food at a reasonable price?  Ok, they have some of that, but I can’t leave there without spending $100 and not in the satisfying $100 at Target kind of way.

The price of my American laundry detergent from home

The price of some suspiciously watery Chinese laundry detergent

My local store is two floors.  The top floor is the household stuff.  When I need an iron or an electric kettle, someone comes over to help me work out what I want.  Sometimes they speak a little English, but usually they don’t.  My years of English teaching have given me the superpower of being able to understand any language when it is in a specific context so I usually do ok, but I do occasionally leave with the exact opposite of what I intended to buy.  This is usually the most painless part of the trip.  Yes, people stare at me.  Yes, they point and talk about me while I choose which toilet paper to buy.  But this is nothing.  The real fun begins downstairs with the food.

The Chinese have perfected the awesome belt system for moving you and your cart from one floor to the next.  The carts have hollow wheels with a flat section to stop them from rolling, and to head downstairs I just position myself and the cart on the belt and ride on down.  Brilliant, actually.  Carrefour has plenty of imported items so I hit up the imported foods section first.  They have conveniently put it right after the belt contraption.  I assume this is so expats can hit this part of the store and run as fast as their little legs will carry them to the registers.  When we moved here in December, this section didn’t even exist and I had memorized all of the secret spots where I might find the things I needed.  One day, I arrived at the store to find it completely rearranged.  I have gotten used to this on a small scale.  Usually I will figure out that a certain store has a particular item that we absolutely cannot live without and will return time and time again only to be surprised one day that they no longer carry it.  The space where it was once shelved will show no indication  that the thing was ever there.  Maybe in a few days it will reappear, like magic, in the old spot, or maybe I will never see it again.  There is no way of knowing.  Today I found the Carrefour brand of pate brisse and contemplated buying the 20 or so packages that were sitting in the refrigerated section just in case this was a one time thing.  I settled on two, telling myself that if they were delicious for chicken pot pie I would return tomorrow to buy the rest of them before anyone else noticed they were there.  Desperation.  It isn’t pretty.Chinese Honey Nut Cheerios are significantly cheaper than the American ones!

I am usually fine until I hit the meat and vegetable sections.  Until this point, there are plenty of things that make me remember that this is Carrefour.  It is Chinese, yes, but they have those granola bars that the kids like!  Made in France!  They have Korean and Japanese imported foods, too, but this never throws me as much as the meat and vegetable parts of the store.  That first visit will be forever etched in my mind as the day I realized grocery shopping could have a smell.  Not a fragrance, but a smell.  Carrefour in Shanghai has a smell.  There are stores that smell worse, but Carrefour has enough of a smell to make the illusion of shopping in France somewhat impossible.  But it isn’t just the smell.  Once you pass the freezers, you are smacked in the face with China.  Chinese vegetable shopping here is a contact sport, and if you can’t take it then you should get ready to go home empty handed.  People crowd around the bins of fruit and vegetables and it is every man for himself when something special is in season.  Today there was some sort of pear being unloaded and the crowd was three deep around the bin and the arriving boxes.  As soon as the produce guy would start to unload a box of the coveted pears, the crowd would rush forward snatching and grabbing.  There were some lesser pears available, and there was a rowdy crowd around these, but this did not compare to the “special” pears.  Each one was individually wrapped and padded, but the sheer force of the handling combined with the chucking of the special fruit into carts so that hands could be freed for more snatching rendered these protective covers ineffective.  I can easily get caught up in this madness.  When everyone is ravenous for something, even if it is something I cannot identify, I can’t help but join the crowd.  Today I left with no pears, but I still have both my eyes so I consider this a win.

This is the least crowded part of the vegetable section. Notice the creative cart positioning.

Once you have selected your pieces of fruit or vegetables, you have to get them weighed.  You bag your own stuff, but then you need to take them to a special counter where someone weighs them for you, puts the price sticker on, and seals the bag.  Here is where I have become the most Chinese.  There is no lining up, of course, so if you want your stuff weighed you have to commit.  Today the crowd was three deep all around which is much trickier when patrons use their carts to try to secure  a spot closer to the weighing machine.  The women who work there randomly grab bags of produce, sling them on the scale, and tag them without ever making eye contact.  When it is less busy I can say “please” and “thank you” like a civilized human being, but these times are few and far between.  Carrefour is usually crowded even at 9:30 in the morning.  Today, I muscled my way in had my things weighed but only after edging my way to the front and then ignoring the woman to my left who kept repeatedly demanding that I move out of her way.

I avoid the meat section in order to avoid a compulsion for vegetarianism.  It isn’t like a butcher shop exactly, but they do hose down the floor and this is enough to make me think that a nice meal of veggies and rice would be great for all of us.  There are tanks stuffed full of fish and eels and other wild and wooly water creatures.  Today I saw a couple wrangling eels with one of the nets.  This surprised me because I had assumed that one of the shop workers would be responsible for this lovely task.  Not so!  The eels were feisty despite their cramped quarters and we were all treated to a nice fresh water rinse whenever the man managed to get one in the net.  There is prepackaged meat, but it is packaged in house, so that doesn’t make it any easier for me to take home.  I know it would be cooked and so some of my worries are unnecessary, but sometimes, my mother’s voice jumps in my head and I can see the food safety violations like bright red warning beacons.  The meat is out like the vegetables, and unless you need something special, you bag it yourself and have it weighed.  People like to examine each individual piece of meat so there are bins of frozen parts as well as fresh ones.  I was fine with this until I saw a woman trying to bag her meat unsuccessfully.  She was having trouble opening the plastic bag so she placed the hunk of raw meat (beef, maybe?) in the bottom of her cart while she worked on the bag.  It dripped onto the floor and mixed with her other groceries until she had wrestled the bag open.  Then she placed the meat in the bag and went to have it weighed.  I have seen this happen time and time again with split ducks or frozen chicken feet.  People need to rearrange things; they need to get organized.  They need some place to put down that hunk of raw meat and there isn’t a great place.  Dear Carrefour, can you please help these people out?  I once commented that my mother can never come to Carrefour.  The scene will be too much.  Mark suggested that it would be good for her to see that a country that has managed such a large population handles their food in this way.  And this is much cleaner than many local markets!  Shanghai is a city with 23 million people!  But I know what my mother will say.  She will tell me to imagine how many people  would be living here if the rest of them weren’t all dying from salmonella.

The Hottest Ticket in Town

Friday was Ava’s violin concert.  All of the students are required to learn the violin as part of the music program at her school.  When I toured the school for the first time, this was a real selling point for me.  They told me all about how it helps children with the tones in Chinese and it exposes them to reading music.  At Ava’s previous school, Music was connected with Math (along with everything else—yeah integrated curriculum!) and I am a firm believer in the benefit of learning to play an instrument.  Studying music is really a no brainer, in my opinion.  That said, I have tried to learn to play several instruments and have been wildly unsuccessful at all of them.  Still, I think music is important.

Apparently, the other parents at this school agree with me.  At least they agree on the importance of attending the Spring violin concert.  The concert took place on two days in order to accommodate all of the special guests who needed to see their little virtuosos perform.  You had to request tickets or go to the main office to get them.  Each child was only allowed two tickets when they were first made available but there was the possibility of obtaining more tickets if there were any left after round one.  Yes, two rounds of tickets for an elementary school violin concert.  You need tickets but then it is general admission.  No assigned seats!  First come, first served!  We have only two adults that might possibly endure such a concert, so this all seemed unnecessary to me.  This wasn’t U2, right?  Was Paul McCartney going to make a guest appearance?  No?  Then why all the fuss, people?

I would soon find out that the violin concert is no trivial matter.  Mark was late and so I waited outside the school gym until the very last minute.  I lined up with some other concert goers, but really, “lined up” doesn’t describe what we were doing.  In China, no one makes an actual line, and there isn’t this recognition of who is first, then second, and so on.  People clump together and push.  They will walk to the front and demand answers to their important questions as if they are the only person in the room.  This happens everywhere—the bank, the grocery store, restaurants.  I hadn’t expected it at the elementary school violin concert, but, well, there you go.  It is an international school, so you have the interesting cultural combinations that result when you mix some Chinese parents with other nationalities.  Some of us were lining up and handing our tickets to the teachers at the door, and some of us were clumping together or trying to ignore the ticket idea altogether and just push into the concert.  A group of Scandinavians in front of me had only two tickets for four people.  No, no, they were told.  All the seats were claimed and they would need to have two people wait to see if they could come in.  This was serious business, this concert.  Behind me a gaggle of Chinese parents and relatives were starting to groan and push.  It was of the utmost importance that they get into the concert!  Immediately!  Never mind that the rest of us were going to the exact same place and we could literally see into the gym.  Finally they could take it no more and several of them pushed past the rest of us.  The teacher in charge made a tight-lipped grimace and continued checking the tickets of the five or so of us remaining at the door.  Then she put someone else in charge, left her post, and began hunting down the gate crashers.  At first I thought this was a little over the top.  I mean, who would try to sneak into a school concert without a ticket, especially when the tickets were free?  Well, apparently, all of those pushy parents would, that’s who!  One had a ticket for the performance the day before.  She wasn’t Chinese, and made a big show of not understanding enough English to realize the date on her ticket was not the date of the concert she was trying to attend.  Tellingly she had crumpled the ticket and shoved it deep in her pocket in an effort to make it more difficult to read.  The rest acted shocked—truly shocked- that they were required to have tickets!  The teacher drug them all back out to the hallway to wait for available seats.

Mark arrived during the first squeaky number.  I had selected seats near the door so he could find me.  Unfortunately, an aisle had been made in front of us for traffic going to the other side of the gym.  As soon as the kids came on stage, this space filled up with doting family members holding their cameras.  No one looked around to see if they were obstructing someone else’s view.  We reluctantly stood up to be able to see the top of Ava’s head.  This continued throughout the concert, combined with a constant hum of conversation coming from parents whose children were not performing at that moment.  People were videotaping the event and I am sure that rather than the beautiful (ahem.) sound of violins, they primarily captured the personal conversations of those around them. The woman sitting next to me whipped out her phone and unabashedly played Angry Birds.  A talkative kid in front of us took candid shots of Mark with her mother’s camera.

Would you like to see some pictures?  I would love to show you some, but the combination of my small crappy camera and the other overzealous parents resulted in all my photos including the back of other people’s heads.  Eventually, I started taking pictures of the other parents taking pictures of their children.

If we don't document this, it is like it never happened.

The concert had been a big deal for Ava and she was very nervous about her performance.  She hasn’t been playing violin long and her entire experience has been about getting ready for this concert.  She smiled when she saw us, though, and she couldn’t have been any worse than the kid who kept putting his violin down and letting out repeated sighs of exasperation.  Or the kid who held his violin pointing straight up  so that his bow wasn’t really touching the strings.  Or the smaller kids who kept wiggling so much that it was impossible for them to hit the right notes.  There were a few solo numbers from some kids who took lessons outside of school and these included some baffling dance moves.  For visual interest, I guess?  Who can say, really.  And then it was over and we all pushed our way out of the gym as if there were Black Friday sales in the lobby.  I managed to get a few photos of Ava as she made her exit.  Notice the stylish uniform.  Which she hates.